As I was walking around the city today in search of lunch I had a thought. Yes, dangerous I know, but I couldn’t help it. I was standing at the intersection waiting to cross the road, looking at the people around me.
The freshly pressed power suits. Pristine white shirts. Expertly tied ties. Immaculately cleaned and very shiny shoes.
That’s when it struck me. “Surely not” I thought, as I looked a little closer. These people in the most expensive and finest of fine power suits, could the closet of their secret desires really hold such a thing? I looked around at others, person after person. It wasn’t just the odd upper manager and power broker, but it was all of them. All sharing the same skeleton in their closet. All sharing the one secret desire. The evidence was undeniable. Every business person, has the secret desire, to be a clown.
This may just be a Sydney thing, I will need my loyal readers to confirm if this is true for other cities. The secret you’ve probably already discovered from the image below, is in their shoes.
I think I got the labels on that image right?
EVERY single guy wearing shoes with toes so large the shoe ends up two to three times as long as the person’s foot. It’s unmistakable that these are clown shoes with black varnish. Nobody in their right mind would manufacture or wear such ludicrous looking things for any other reason. Every year they get worse too.
And the women, giving themselves constantly worse ankle and foot problems in their attempts to secretly wear stilts in the office. They look ridiculous, they’re painful, and there’s just no sane reason why anyone would do such things.
Please people, for sanity’s sake and the sake of your own personal safety – if you too are suffering from a closet desire to be a clown then just wear clown shoes and stilts. They’re better for your feet than these “business” shoes, and don’t look anywhere near as silly. Trust me.
2 thoughts on “The secret lives of business people.”
You’ve discovered our secret…
You better stop asking questions before you learn too much. Clowns have been integrating into human society for decades. Once the laughing stock of society, we clowns have started to become almost indistinguishable from regular folk and are finally able to break the shackles of opression.
Our race has been travelling from galaxy to galaxy, trying to find a place where we could develop our unique culture in peace, and we were so close, but now that you have stumbled upon a clue to unlock the secrets of our kind, we will have to start again, changing our methods and working out way back into your society one article of footware at a time.
It won’t be easy for us, but we’ll have wiped your kind from the planet before long and we’ll be able to realise our dream of a planet full of murder circuses! Where we can practice ancient clown culture and not have to play to your human desires to laugh! We can do that which clowns were bred for… the slaughter of the innocents! Carnage on a global scale! IT WILL BE BLISS!!!!!!
Thank goodness I don’t have to hide anymore!
I am going to wear a red nose to work on Monday.